Day Five- How Children Spell Love

How do your kids know that you love them?  Do they know because you work hard every day to make sure their needs (and many of their wants) are met?  Or is it because you clean up countless messes and do never-ending loads of laundry for them?   Do you say “I love you” every night when you tuck them into bed? 

Yes, these are all wonderful ways to show our kids that we love them.  But today I want to share a little secret with you that I actually learned from my mother long before I had children of my own.  What’s the secret? 

Children spell love T-I-M-E.

Our kids really want (and need) our time and attention.  Not a bunch of toys, not over-the-top birthday parties, not a gigantic pile of Christmas presents.  But time with mom and dad. 

Time to play, talk, laugh, cry, and explore.  Time to learn from one another and really experience life together.  My girls’ favorite memories are of times we spent together having adventures (both big and small) as a family.  They remember a few special toys and gifts, but it’s the family times and traditions that hold so much more meaning for them.

Childhood is such a short, precious season.  Instead of spending our days trying to get our kids the right stuff, let’s focus on giving them what they really want and need- time with us!

“Your children need your presence more than your presents.” ~Jesse Jackson

 

Day Four- Keep Your Cup Full

When I was the PTA president at my girls' school a few years ago, I received this piece of advice- “When you’re looking for someone to head up a committee or a project, ask one of the really busy moms.  They know how to get things done!”  At first this seemed somewhat counterintuitive.  If she’s so busy, then won’t she just say no?  I learned very quickly, however, that this was indeed sound advice.  The busy moms were more likely to help. They know how to juggle lots of things and get stuff done.

Most of us would classify ourselves as really busy parents.  Our calendars are overflowing with activities and our to-do lists are never-ending.  Why then, with such full lives, are so many of us walking around on empty? 

We spend our days pouring out all of our energy just to keep up with our lives.  If we aren’t careful, we can quickly find ourselves all poured out.  We have nothing left to give- physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  The caregivers are all worn out, but the people in our lives still need care.

So, how do we fix this?  Take time every day to refill your cup.  Eat healthy food, drink lots of water, take a walk, try to get some rest, spend some quiet time praying and meditating on the Word.  Jesus came that we might have an abundant life, not an exhausting life! If your cup is full, then you will always have plenty to pour out on those you love.   

Whenever I start to feel my cup running dry, I remember the words to this chorus I learned as a new Christian:

Fill my cup, Lord, I lift it up, Lord

Come and quench this thirsting in my soul
Bread from heaven, feed me ‘til I want no more
Fill my cup, fill it up and make me whole. (songwriter Richard Blanchard)

Be kind to yourself… keep your cup full!

 

 

 

 

  

Day Three: We Are Always Teaching

Cook, maid, nurse, cheerleader, personal shopper, chauffeur, counselor… on any given day parents wear many hats.  But the one that we never take off is that of teacher.  Maybe you’ve never thought of yourself as a teacher.  Teachers are the ones who write lesson plans and have stacks of papers to grade, right? 

A teacher’s primary purpose is to provide instruction.  Well, parents, isn’t that what we are doing with our children every day?  We are constantly working on skill-building- how to do tasks independently, how to have good manners, how to communicate appropriately, etc. You might not define yourself as a “teacher,” but that is certainly paramount in the parent job description. 

Most of us realize that to be effective parents we must be intentional about instructing our kids.  And let’s not forget the importance of taking advantage of “teachable moments”- those unplanned opportunities that arise where you can explain or demonstrate something- an incredibly impactful way of learning for kids.  But we often fail to recognize that we are always teaching- even in those moments when we aren’t intending to do so.

Our precious kiddos are constantly watching what we do and say.  Sometimes this is a positive thing- sometimes this is a negative thing.  Sometimes they reflect our best traits, and at other times they are mirrors of our worst habits.  It is challenging to always be on the job.  But parenthood is a 24/7 commitment, so we must be vigilant.  The hours are demanding, but the benefits are incredible!

“Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.”  ~Robert Fulghum


Day Two- Get Into Agreement

  Decisions, decisions, decisions… from the moment that little one enters our lives we are faced with countless parenting decisions.  Cloth vs. disposable. Bottle vs. breastfeeding.   Public school vs. private school vs. homeschool.  The list goes on and on. 

One of the most valuable decisions you can make, however, is to get into agreement with your spouse regarding parenting issues.  If both parents are not on the same page when it comes to matters regarding the kids, then chaos will quickly ensue,  particularly in the area of discipline. 

This is not a one-time chat.  Rather, this will need to be an on-going conversation between both parents.  As that little one grows, the decisions become more complicated and often have greater consequences.  A unified approach really does make daily life easier and provides much-needed security for your family. 

In theory, this all sounds so civilized:  both parents coming together on equal terms to discuss what is in the best interest of their child.  In practice, this can be incredibly challenging.  Especially when parents are divorced or if you are parenting in a blended family.  There are no easy answers in these situations.   Depending on your circumstance, it might be necessary to seek professional help.

If it is at all possible, find a way to get into agreement as parents.  It will be well worth the effort!


31 Days of Organic Parenting- Day One

Welcome to “31 Days of Organic Parenting.”  I’m so excited that you are here!  If this is your first time here, then scroll down to read Day One.  Otherwise, here are the current links to the series: 31 Days of Organic Parenting...  

 Day Two- Get Into Agreement
Day Three- We Are Always Teaching
Day Four- Keep Your Cup Full
Day Five- How Children Spell Love
Day Six- Never Underestimate the Power of Play
Day Seven- Little Ones To Him Belong
Day Eight- Children Crave Routine
Day Nine- Develop Good Habits
Day Ten- Guard Their Hearts
Day Eleven- Dads Are Important, Too!
Day Twelve- Listen to Your Knower
Day Thirteen-Are You Speaking Their Language?
Day Fourteen- Let Them See You Worship
Day Fifteen- Discipline That Makes Sense
Day Sixteen- Attitude of Gratitude
Day Seventeen- Make Good Choices
Day Eighteen- Faith Not Fear
Day Nineteen- Help Them Find Their Purpose
Day Twenty- The Strong-Willed Child
Day Twenty-one- Prayer Changes Everything
Day Twenty-two- Their Education is Your Responsibility
Day Twenty-three- Friends
Day Twenty-four- Model Loving Relationships
Day Twenty-five- Enjoy Every Season
Day Twenty-six- Manners Matter
Day Twenty-seven- Dollars and Sense
Day Twenty-eight- The Word of God is Precious
Day Twenty-nine- The Birds and The Bees
Day Thirty- Love Your Teens
Day Thirty-one- You Are Not Alone

Before we begin, you might be wondering about the title of this series.  Sometimes it is easier to define something by explaining what it is not.  This is not a series about how to feed your family only organic food or use only organic materials in your home.  I happen to like those concepts and they would be very worthwhile to explore, but that is not my focus here.

The word organic is most often defined as: living things developing gradually and naturally without being forced or contrived; fresh, simple, healthful.  As a parent, this falls in line with exactly how I have raised my children.  From the very beginning, I wanted them to grow up gradually and naturally into the individuals that they were created to be.   Nothing artificial in the process, just a simple and healthy approach to nurturing them in the ways of the Lord.

Over the next 31 days I will share with you some of my growing methods.  Hopefully you will find something fresh and practical along the way that will help you grow healthy kids!

 

Day One:  Parenting with Purpose

Congratulations!  You are a parent!  Whether you intentionally planned to become one, or you became one by surprise, you are one now and that comes with tremendous responsibility.  How can one little person have so many needs?

As a young mom, I spent many days feeling completely insecure and overwhelmed.  I read every parenting book and magazine I could get my hands on.  I listened carefully to other moms and I faithfully attended Bible study, desperately hoping that someone would say something that would help me.  I knew that in order to be successful as a mom, I needed to be focused and purposeful with my children.  However, my list of things to focus on and be purposeful about just kept growing and growing until it all felt so incredibly complicated!

Somewhere along the way, I finally figured out that if I just focus on loving my children, the rest all falls into place.  I began to get a revelation of the message of Jesus- God is love and our priorities are to love Him and to love others.  When I spend my days concentrating on loving my kids, taking care of their natural and spiritual needs becomes so much easier.  Dishes, laundry, homework, music practice, even praying for them, is all so much easier to do when my heart is focused on loving them. 

Keep your purpose as a parent simple… simply love your kids!

 

Monday Musings

Out in my yard today... sunny and 76 degrees.  Harvest is in full swing! This came out of the garden just this afternoon.

  

 

The white star jasmine is in full bloom and smells wonderful...

 



and my hanging baskets are still blooming like crazy!

 

I'm grateful for... the start of a new school year, football games, and cooler weather.

One of my favorite things... is watching my kids perform.  Last Saturday I got to watch my oldest daughter's first college marching band performance.  It was so fun to see her marching on the football field during half-time.  She is attending my alma mater... I felt a bit nostalgic all day.

This week I'm reading...  You are Made for More! by Lisa Osteen Comes.  We will be studying this book as part of our fall Ladies Bible study starting this week.  I'm actually on my second time through the book.  Since I'm the leader, I figure I should really know and understand the material. 

 



I'm also finishing Saving CeeCee Honeycutt by Beth Hoffman. This novel tells the story of a 12-year-old girl struggling to care for her mentally ill mother. An interesting and engaging read, this book deals with mental illness in a very realistic manner. 

 

 

I'm looking forward to... the Moms group that I lead starting back up again this Thursday.  It's nice to take a break for the summer, but I have really missed everyone!  I'm also excited about Finding Nemo coming out in 3D!   This movie gets quoted on an almost daily basis in our house.  Lots of great life lessons for people of all ages.  It will be fun to see it again on the big screen.

 

Simple life tip for the week... For fast-acting relief, try slowing down. ~Lily Tomlin~ Perhaps this seems counter-intuitive given that life seems to get busier during this time of year, which is exactly why we need to constantly remind ourselves that life is not an emergency (thanks Ann Voskamp!).  Let's resist the tendency to over-schedule ourselves and enjoy the beauty of this season. 





Because He Obeyed

 

Last February my dear husband David made an appointment to see his doctor.  He was having some digestive troubles that he thought might be related to having his gall bladder removed.   In addition to prescribing some probiotics, the doctor also ordered a full blood panel just to rule out any other potential issues.  The good news- David’s cholesterol numbers are fantastic!  The bad news- his A1C (measure of blood glucose control) was 7.1, placing him in the diabetic range.  Diabetes!!!  Not the diagnosis we were expecting.

David’s doctor instructed him to change his diet (1200 calories per day limit) and lose a minimum of 20 pounds (25-30 would be even better) within the next 6 months.  At that time, David would return for a follow-up appointment and have more blood tests to check his progress.  Further treatment options would be discussed at that time.

Wow!  1200 calories per day?  My sweet man, who LOVES food, was being asked to reduce his total daily calories to about one-third of his normal intake. No small feat. 

David received the diagnosis on Fat Tuesday, the day before Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent.  We had planned quite a feast for that evening, not knowing that life was about to radically change.  When we sat down to dinner, David explained what was happening to our girls.  He patiently answered all of their questions and was honest about how this had taken him by surprise.  They were pretty shaken by the news.  We all were.  We had walked through many major health crises with other people, but now this was happening to one of us!

During this discussion, David told us that he was committed to doing whatever he had to do to get healthy.  No excuses.  However, one issue lingered in our minds. There is a significant family history of diabetes on the paternal side of his family tree.  Would diet control alone be enough to reverse this?  David said that he would do all he could do and trust God for healing in the process.  We girls committed to do whatever we could to love and support him through this.

The next day we cleaned out the pantry and fridge, setting a course to follow the new diet guidelines.   David began to meticulously measure food portions and count calories.  It was NOT easy and it was NOT fun!  But he quickly began to lose weight, which was great motivation to keep going.  He had such an amazing attitude in the midst of the struggle.

A couple of weeks ago, David went to his doctor for the six-month follow-up visit.  After losing 27 pounds, David’s A1C was down to 5.7, placing him within the normal range for blood glucose control.  Hallelujah!!!  The diet control is working!  The doctor was very impressed that David actually followed his treatment recommendations.  He told the medical student that was observing during the appointment that day that he wished all of his patients would follow instructions and take control of their own health the same way as David.  Obedience really does bring blessing!  No medication is required and David will return for annual visits to monitor his health.    Double Hallelujah!!!

Words can hardly express just how proud I am of my husband.  His faith and determination have inspired me to make my own diet changes.  Granted, I have only lost 9 pounds as compared to his 27- 1 for his every 3- somehow this hardly seems fair!  But, it is what it is and 9 pounds are better than nothing!

We certainly haven’t arrived at the end of this journey.  Now comes the challenge to maintain this lifestyle change.  During the times when it is especially tough and temptation is all around, David often turns to me and tells me that he is determined to be successful because he loves me.  Because he wants to grow old with me and be around to enjoy his kids, and grandkids, and great-grandkids.   Oh, how I love that man!  And so we continue on… one moment at a time…choosing life…together.

Wisdom will multiply your days and add years to your life.  Proverbs 9:11