O-B-E-Y it makes them very glad.
Listen to the words they say,
obey your
parents every day;
O-B-E-Y obey your
mom and dad.
We used to sing
this song every day with our girls when they were little (and on a few
occasions as a good reminder even when they were not so little). Parents, why is it so important that our children obey us? Well, an obvious reason is to keep them safe. Additionally, it is also important for our kids to learn to submit to authority because they will have numerous situations in their lives where they will need to- think of teachers, coaches, police officers, employers, etc. Also, if we want to raise children who will live lives submitted to God (who isn’t physically tangible), then we want them to learn to obey their parents (who are physically tangible).
Countless books
and volumes of research have been published on the subject of discipline. It can be quite confusing and extremely
complicated. Here are just a few things
that have served me well in raising my children:
*Make your
expectations clear and concise. (“Bobby, please pick up all of the Legos and
put them away in the Lego bin.”)
*Immediately
reward appropriate behavior using whatever method works for you. This might
include: praise (“Good work! Thank-you, Bobby.), earning a sticker on a reward
chart, or earning a privilege (like 15 minutes of video game time). You might use a combination of these, but try
to keep it simple.
*Give a
consequence for inappropriate behavior, again using the method of your
choice. This might include: time-out
(one minute per year of age of child), nothing earned for reward chart, no
earned privilege or even loss of privilege (“Since you didn’t clean up the
Legos like I asked, then you will not be able to play with them for x amount of
time.”).
*Make sure that
the punishment fits the crime- not too harsh or too lenient.
*Natural
consequences usually work best. For example, if the child makes a mess, then
they need to clean it up. Consider what
is age-appropriate- a 3 year old can’t mop the floor, but they can pick up toys
and put them in a bin.
*Setting a timer
to have them “beat the clock” can be a great motivating tool when completing
tasks.
*Remember, the
goal isn’t to control our children; rather, we want them to learn to control
themselves. Disciplining your child can
be very challenging and stressful- give yourself a time-out if necessary!
* Be
consistent! This is the most important
aspect of discipline, and often the most difficult. Hang in there, it will be worth it in the
end!
The Word of God
reveals a wonderful promise for those who honor their parents:
“Children, obey
your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do.
“Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise: If
you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will
have a long life on the earth.”” ~Ephesians 6:1-3
Of course we want
our children to “live long and prosper” (great words from the Vulcan Spock, not
to be confused with the child-rearing expert Dr. Spock). Let’s help them by teaching them to be
obedient!
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