Things I Learned During the Month of February

I am becoming very familiar with the grieving process.

When I first learned about the stages of grief back in college, I had absolutely no idea how many times I would go through that process in the years to come. Just within the last 18 months I have lost seven family members and friends. It certainly hasn’t gotten any easier; however, I now recognize it for what it is. I’ve noticed that there is an ebb and flow to grief. At this point in my life, I am more comfortable with embracing the process and “riding the wave.”

God is faithful to give us what we need, often before we even realize that we need it.

Back in October, when I was writing about “Letting Go,” I knew that this was something I was also going to teach on in the Moms group that I lead. Each week as I have prepared to teach, I have noticed that each lesson is as much for me now as it is for the rest of the group (maybe even more). God knew exactly what I would need. He’s cool like that.

Self-awareness can be a tricky process.

You just cannot believe all of the stuff that I have learned about myself in the last few weeks. I’ve learned that my perfect occupation is writer (woo hoo), that I am an “effortlessly cool parent”, and that I should really live in the state of Mississippi. If I were a Disney princess, I would be Belle. I’ve always fancied myself to be more like Snow White, so I’m glad we got that cleared up. I am also most like the character Belle from the show “Once Upon a Time.” Consistency is good. However, my perfect Disney couple is Cinderella and Prince Charming. Hmmm…

If I were a Muppet, I would be Beaker. I am the most like Hawkeye from the Avengers. I should have majored in Eco Science (too late, the Psych degree will have to do). The European country I should live in is Malta. This one seems completely reasonable to me. I think I would do very nicely in the Mediterranean. Finally, if I were a kind of potato, I would be tater tots! This one is very important and revealing for a girl who is a native Idahoan. Apparently tater tots are the life of the party. So why don’t I go to more parties?! Oh yeah, because I’m an introvert and a highly sensitive person. Parties are quite draining for me, so I might not go. But if you don’t invite me, then I will be really hurt!

Real lesson learned: I’ve spent wayyy too much time taking BuzzFeed quizzes!!!

The best way to respond in challenging times- TRUST GOD.

I encountered some difficult situations during the month of February. All too often my response is to basically freak out and proclaim that the world is coming to an end. Overly- dramatic? Well, it is what it is. Anyway, I have been really working on changing that response to one of trusting God and resting in His peace. I am happy to report that I was actually able to do this more often in February. Guess what happened when I did? It all worked out okay and I was able to maintain my composure and live in peace. TRUST. Just. Do. It.

A little bit of hope goes a long way.

As I was walking to my mailbox last week, I noticed a little something that immediately gave me hope. Little green shoots, pushing their way through the mulch.

Spring is coming! Just seeing that little sign of life gave me such a jolt of energy and encouragement. A couple of days later I found the first crocus blooms.

 

Well Helloooo Gorgeous!!! I was instantly reminded that a little bit of hope is all it takes to keep us going.

“It's spring fever.  That is what the name of it is.  And when you've got it, you want - oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!”  ~Mark Twain

 

Day Twenty- A Scripture for Letting Go

 

"You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! Trust in the Lord always, for the Lord God is the eternal Rock." ~Isaiah 26:3-4

Day Fourteen- Letting Go of Worry

Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it gets you nowhere.  ~Glenn Turner

There are a lot of ways that we can waste our time, but worrying just might be the biggest waste of them all. Worrying never changes our circumstances. In fact, most of the things we spend time worrying about NEVER HAPPEN. Are you a worrywart?  You might want to consider the following:

Worrying is bad for our health.

 

While worrying doesn’t change our situations, it does change our body chemistry. Whenever we think negative thoughts, our brains release chemicals that negatively impact our bodies and can actually make us physically ill. We really can be “worried sick.” Worry steals our peace and our rest. Letting go of worry and anxiety will help improve our health. 

Worrying steals our focus.

 

Whatever we choose to focus on will get bigger. If we concentrate on our problems, they will just continue to grow. However, if we choose to focus on positive things, then those will become greater than anything else. Count your blessings, notice positive attributes in other people, and speak positive words over your life. Letting go of worry will enable you to focus on the great plans that God has for you.

Worrying keeps us from trusting God.

 

When we worry, we step out of faith and rely on our own abilities to solve our problems. Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” We don’t have to figure it all out on our own.  God has just the right solutions available for us. Letting go of worry sets us free to rest in the promises of God and allow Him to direct our paths.

Let’s make the choice today to walk in faith and let go of worry!

“So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” ~1 Peter 5:6-7

Giving Myself a Refocus

As you may know by now, my word for 2013 is “Focus.” Over the course of the last five months I feel as though my efforts to really pursue greater focus in my life have been completely under attack. To be honest, I don’t feel like I’m making any progress in this area. I feel more scattered and distracted than ever!

Last night I was discussing my frustration with my husband. He was very encouraging and reminded me that all of us need to “refocus” every once in a while.

The word “refocus” made me think about a behavior modification program that several of the teachers in our local school district use with their students. Whenever a student is struggling to meet classroom expectations (talking at inappropriate times, getting off-task, not completing work, etc.), the teacher will hand the student a form and instruct them to “go refocus.” The student will then go to a designated area and fill out the Refocus form. In essence, the form asks three basic questions: 

(1) What were you doing?

(2) What were you supposed to be doing?

(3) What will you do differently next time?

This gives the child the opportunity to think about the choices they have been making and how to make better, more appropriate choices in the future. Once they have completed the form, they review it with the teacher. They are also required to take the form home, review it with a parent, have the parent sign the form, and then return it to the teacher the next day.

Some students just go through the motions and this process has little long-term effect on their behavior. But for many students, a Refocus really does help them evaluate and take responsibility for their choices.

Due to my own recent behavior and choices, I have decided to give myself a Refocus. Admittedly, this may seem a bit unusual, but I need to get myself back on track. Desperate times call for desperate measures!

(1)  What were you doing? Allowing myself to get distracted by situations and circumstances over which I have little or no control, brooding over the lack of an apology that I believe I deserve but doesn’t seem to be forthcoming, over-committing and allowing my schedule to get too busy, sweating the small stuff and letting fear creep in, and not getting enough sleep!

(2) What were you supposed to be doing? Not worrying, prioritizing my to-do list and keeping a sane schedule, guarding my heart, trusting God, and going to bed at a decent hour.

(3) What will you do differently next time? Walk in faith rather than fear, allow grace to abound towards myself and others, grow in discipline, daily pursue my purpose, be positive, trust God, and get some sleep!

Some students only have to Refocus once or twice in order to change their behavior. I might be one of those challenging students who have to go through the process multiple times before change occurs. At least I don’t have to do it alone…

“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” ~Phil 1:6