Daddy's Girl

I arrived as a later-in-life surprise to my parents. A surprise and a bit of a miracle. Allow me to explain...

Following the birth of their second child, my parents were advised by their physician to not have any more children since pregnancy and childbirth were so difficult for my mother. He also told them that it was highly unlikely that they would ever conceive again and to be thankful for their two healthy sons. My folks had hoped to have a larger family, but, given the multiple miscarriages they had endured in order to have two children, they decided that the doctor knew best.

Surprise!! Ten years later I came along... a strong, healthy baby girl. My father reportedly cried tears of joy each time he told someone the good news. I was daddy's girl right from the start! The apple of his eye, his pride and joy. And as the years went by, we just grew closer and closer.

When I was little he called me his "best helper." Holding tools, working in the garden, running errands... We read lots of books together and he always had a joke to tell or silly song to sing. As I got older we went to daddy/daughter dances at church. My daddy was the best ballroom dancer of all the dads! During the difficult teenage years, when I was moody and full of drama, he would come to my bedroom door each night, wish me "sweet dreams," and blow me a kiss.

He came to all of my school concerts, award ceremonies, and church programs. He was my cheerleader, always smiling and encouraging me- even when I wound up attending three different colleges before finally graduating!

While planning my wedding, he said that he would walk me down the aisle, but he refused to give me away. "What if I want you back?" he would tease. Now I'm the one wishing I could have him back. Eleven years, eight months, and eighteen days without my dad...

-He always carried a handkerchief... always.

-He cooked the best fried eggs ever.

-He loved classical music and almost wore out his copies of The 1812 Overture and The Grand Canyon Suite.

-He only wrote in cursive to sign his name. Otherwise, it was small, neat, printed handwriting. (Oddly enough, my husband also does the same.)

-He could strike up a conversation with anyone, anywhere, about anything.

-He loved to read and was extremely interested in history. I attribute my love of books to him.

-He was a wonderful storyteller and became quite a poet in his later years.

-He was perhaps the most patriotic person I have ever known.

-He loved parades.

-He played the violin. And the piano... a little.

-He had a beautiful singing voice and performed at church and in the community on numerous occasions. We even performed together a few times.

-He could fall asleep anywhere!

-He loved my mother for more than 44 years.

-He was often melancholy, wondering if life had passed him by. I don't think he ever realized the true measure of his success.

I miss him.

Her Last Day

Today is my youngest daughter's last day in middle school. Hallelujah! I would have never dreamed that I would be so excited for her to leave that place, but my anticipation has been growing over the past few weeks. Not because I'm in a hurry for her to grow up. She is my baby girl, after all. My baby girl who used to tell me that she didn't want to get big, she wanted to stay little forever. My baby girl who said that she would live next door to me when she was a "growed up." So why am I relieved that today has arrived?

It is my opinion, based on my own experience as well as observation of others, that middle school/junior high is one of the most, if not the most, incredibly challenging times in development for any human being. While there are a variety of factors that play into this, I believe the entire thing can be summed up in one word- PUBERTY! So many changes in such a short amount of time. Accelerated physical growth, hormones, zits, hormones, rapid mood swings, hormones, friendship issues, hormones... did I mention hormones?!!!!!

"Who am I? Where do I fit in? Am I attractive? What can I do? Am I good enough? What is my purpose?" Mind, body, and spirit are all developing at a mind-boggling rate. Simply negotiating daily life is quite tenuous during this time.

In the process of metamorphosis, the emerging butterfly goes through a tremendous struggle to break out of the cocoon. While it is painful to watch and tempting to intervene, it is necessary for the butterfly to endure this process. The struggle is what strengthens the butterfly, increasing it's chances for survival once it has fully transformed and come forth.

My beautiful butterfly has made it through these difficult first stages and is moving on to the next phase of development. As she begins to emerge from her cocoon, I am getting a glimpse of her vivid colors, graceful wings, and marvelous intelligence. With each passing day she is becoming more aware of her purpose. I know there will be more challenges ahead... perhaps the greatest and most bittersweet for me will be when she fully emerges and takes flight!

May the wings of the butterfly kiss the sun

and find your shoulder to light on,

To bring you luck, happiness, and riches

today, tomorrow and beyond. ~ Irish blessing

Monday Musings

Out in my yard today... windy, sunny, windy, rainy, windy... you name it, we've got it! The weather has been particularly crazy this last week, even for our area. We even had some snow this last weekend. I planted my little garden, in spite of it all. Lettuce, tomatoes (roma, cherry, yellow pear), cucumbers, zucchini, and yellow squash.

The irises are blooming now. Good news since we moved them to a new spot last year.


Also blooming in the yard today are the gorgeous gerbera daisies I recently planted. I love their bright color!



Each spring I try to plant something new and interesting in my yard. This year I have chocolate mint! Yes, it really smells like chocolate. A nice compliment to the chocolate flowers I planted a few years ago. They are little yellow flowers with dark brown centers and they, too, smell like chocolate. Perfectly suits our chocolate-loving family!


I'm grateful for... incredibly healthy kids! Listening to the moms at Bible study the other day discussing doctor visits and antibiotics reminded me again of how blessed my girls have been. May they walk in divine health all the days of their lives!



One of my favorite things... my Cricut Expressions cutting machine. It makes everything look great. I have declared this the summer of scrapbooking, so I hope my machine is up to the challenge!


This week I'm reading... eat the cookie...buy the shoes Giving Yourself Permission to Lighten Up by Joyce Meyer. Joyce says that we are not built for guilt. God wants us to enjoy the lives He has given us. I am particularly skilled in the area of guilt. In fact, there have been times in my life when I just didn't feel right unless I felt that familiar twinge of guilt. Time to just let it go!!!

I'm looking forward to... our monthly book club meeting this week. We are such a diverse group and yet we have such fun together. The school year is also winding down and I'm excited for summer!

Simple life tip for the week... The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it. ~ Henry David Thoreau

Birthday Inspiration

My birthday. The one day out of each year that is my very own holiday dedicated to celebrating me. As a child I could hardly wait for my special day. My mom would start the countdown of "shopping days" until my birthday at least a month prior to the occasion. She continued this tradition even when I went away to college, sending me postcards labeled with the number of days remaining throughout the weeks before my big day. I have many wonderful memories of birthday celebrations with really great gifts. The hot pink Huffy two-wheeler with a banana seat and white basket with daisies on the front. The piano my aunt surprised me with when I turned 11. The scavenger hunt that led to the discovery of the new 10-speed hidden away in the back of my uncle's truck. Flowers, jewelry, surprise parties with friends, my desk decorated at school, the birthday crown we wore in elementary school. Good times!

Somewhere in my early twenties I vowed to never lie about my age. After all, each and every moment I have lived thus far has come together to make me who I am today, so why would I not want to embrace every year of my age? So idealistic, so naive! I had no idea how challenging aging can be. And while it is true that the sum total of my life experiences have shaped who I am, it is sometimes difficult to celebrate the good with the bad. This year I had to really dig deep and put on an attitude of gratitude when it came to my special day.

And so, I celebrated my birthday a couple of weeks ago. I spent the day attending our church's annual women's conference. Later that evening I went to dinner with my husband, my beautiful daughters, and my in-laws. Strawberry pie for dessert (a tradition since childhood) and my celebration was complete.

The next day was spent in a gym watching our youngest daughter play in a volleyball tournament. As I was sitting there in the bleachers, this little phrase kept running through my mind, "What do I do now that I'm forty-two?" I kinda chuckled to myself at first because it sounded like something out of a Dr. Seuss book (the rhyming words and cadence?- okay, maybe I'm the only one who gets it). At any rate, I kept thinking about this all day. After we got home I decided to write it down, just to get it out of my head, if nothing else. Once the words hit the paper I thought, "I should write a haiku with this as the title." Now, you should know that I do not routinely write poetry of any kind, let alone a haiku! It must have been divine inspiration that gave me the following:

What do I do now that I'm forty-two?

laugh, cry, reflect, breathe
dream, explore, embrace, create
love, celebrate life!

After I finished writing, I spent several minutes just staring at the words on the paper and thinking, "What now? What does this mean? Is this a fluke? Am I supposed to do something with this?" Honestly, I can be so overly analytical that it can strip the joy out of just about anything! I finally decided to share these words with my family, mostly because I was so overwhelmed by the whole incident that I was hoping to gain some insight from their reaction. As I started to read the words out loud, I felt a lump form in my throat and tears come to my eyes. It was in that moment of sharing that I knew this wasn't a fluke. I knew that God had placed those words in my heart as a revelation of His purpose and vision for my life. For me... a 42-year-old wife and mother of two who had spent the last several weeks wondering if there was something more for her or if life was just passing her by. What an amazing gift from my Father...hope, optimism, and enthusiasm for the journey ahead!

With a renewed confidence I am inspired to move forward and discover what each of these words means for me. There is something more after all, something beyond the daily-ness of life. Something fresh to pursue and embrace. That's what I'll do now that I'm forty-two!

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. -- e.e. cummings

Monday Musings

Out in my yard today... the high according to my thermometer was 82 this afternoon! Our peach and plum trees are in full bloom.

I'm grateful for... celebrations with good friends, sunshine, and a fresh start every morning.

One of my favorite things... is watching the birds in our backyard. We've had a bird bath in our yard for a few years now, but this is the first spring that I've really seen any birds using it. Too cool!

This week I'm reading... the second half of Her Mother's Hope. I went to Barnes & Noble with my oldest daughter last week and we put together a rather lengthy list of summer reading. I'm so glad that my kids love to read as much as I do. It has always been important to me that they not only become good readers, but also really enjoy it.

I'm looking forward to... having lunch with some special ladies on Friday. Each of them has given me such love and encouragement throughout the past several months. They believe in me even when I don't believe in myself.

Simple life tip for the week... don't make your schedule any more complicated than it already is each day. Sometimes we are our own worst enemy and add more than we should to an already full agenda. Learn to set clear boundaries and just say "no."

Monday Musings

Out in my yard today... it rained most of the morning, but now it is snowing!!! Grrrr...just another crazy spring day in Idaho. However, the daffodils are blooming in my front yard-




they are so bright and cheerful!

I'm grateful for... Easter dinner with family, a warm home, marshmallow-filled chocolate eggs, and an opening day win for the Red Sox over the Yankees!

One of my favorite things... eating popcorn and watching movies with my family. Romantic comedies top my list, but a little drama, action and intrigue are also good.

This week I'm reading... Her Mother's Hope by Francine Rivers, our current book club read. I hope it's good since I picked this book for April. :)

I'm looking forward to... a short school week this week. No school on Thursday or Friday due to parent/teacher conferences. Maybe we can all catch our breath again!

Simple life tip for the week... Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful. -William Morris

Good Friday- Grateful Heart

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.
Isaiah 53:5