Birthday Inspiration

My birthday. The one day out of each year that is my very own holiday dedicated to celebrating me. As a child I could hardly wait for my special day. My mom would start the countdown of "shopping days" until my birthday at least a month prior to the occasion. She continued this tradition even when I went away to college, sending me postcards labeled with the number of days remaining throughout the weeks before my big day. I have many wonderful memories of birthday celebrations with really great gifts. The hot pink Huffy two-wheeler with a banana seat and white basket with daisies on the front. The piano my aunt surprised me with when I turned 11. The scavenger hunt that led to the discovery of the new 10-speed hidden away in the back of my uncle's truck. Flowers, jewelry, surprise parties with friends, my desk decorated at school, the birthday crown we wore in elementary school. Good times!

Somewhere in my early twenties I vowed to never lie about my age. After all, each and every moment I have lived thus far has come together to make me who I am today, so why would I not want to embrace every year of my age? So idealistic, so naive! I had no idea how challenging aging can be. And while it is true that the sum total of my life experiences have shaped who I am, it is sometimes difficult to celebrate the good with the bad. This year I had to really dig deep and put on an attitude of gratitude when it came to my special day.

And so, I celebrated my birthday a couple of weeks ago. I spent the day attending our church's annual women's conference. Later that evening I went to dinner with my husband, my beautiful daughters, and my in-laws. Strawberry pie for dessert (a tradition since childhood) and my celebration was complete.

The next day was spent in a gym watching our youngest daughter play in a volleyball tournament. As I was sitting there in the bleachers, this little phrase kept running through my mind, "What do I do now that I'm forty-two?" I kinda chuckled to myself at first because it sounded like something out of a Dr. Seuss book (the rhyming words and cadence?- okay, maybe I'm the only one who gets it). At any rate, I kept thinking about this all day. After we got home I decided to write it down, just to get it out of my head, if nothing else. Once the words hit the paper I thought, "I should write a haiku with this as the title." Now, you should know that I do not routinely write poetry of any kind, let alone a haiku! It must have been divine inspiration that gave me the following:

What do I do now that I'm forty-two?

laugh, cry, reflect, breathe
dream, explore, embrace, create
love, celebrate life!

After I finished writing, I spent several minutes just staring at the words on the paper and thinking, "What now? What does this mean? Is this a fluke? Am I supposed to do something with this?" Honestly, I can be so overly analytical that it can strip the joy out of just about anything! I finally decided to share these words with my family, mostly because I was so overwhelmed by the whole incident that I was hoping to gain some insight from their reaction. As I started to read the words out loud, I felt a lump form in my throat and tears come to my eyes. It was in that moment of sharing that I knew this wasn't a fluke. I knew that God had placed those words in my heart as a revelation of His purpose and vision for my life. For me... a 42-year-old wife and mother of two who had spent the last several weeks wondering if there was something more for her or if life was just passing her by. What an amazing gift from my Father...hope, optimism, and enthusiasm for the journey ahead!

With a renewed confidence I am inspired to move forward and discover what each of these words means for me. There is something more after all, something beyond the daily-ness of life. Something fresh to pursue and embrace. That's what I'll do now that I'm forty-two!

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. -- e.e. cummings