More or Less

I went to a funeral last week. Yet. another. funeral.  Our family has now lost 14 friends and loved ones over the course of the past two years. I recognize that death is a part of life, but it has become a much too familiar part of my life these past several months. With all of this experience I could become a professional mourner. A few months ago I officially declared a moratorium on death. Clearly I have zero authority regarding this matter because it just keeps happening! At this point I'm just hoping for a bit of a break.

Throughout this time I have been constantly reminded of my own mortality. Yup, a complete and total bummer! I prefer to believe that I will live for an unusually long amount of time. But the reality is that I don't even know what tomorrow holds. I'm not sure that it is healthy or even advisable for someone to think about death as much as I have lately, but it certainly has encouraged me to reevaluate my own life. 

Two funerals ago I started thinking about what I wanted more of in my life. (Yes, it is indeed strange that I am marking time according to funerals. Please don't judge me. There is no "normal" when it comes to grief.) Thinking about what I want more of naturally led me to also consider what I want less of in my life. Since last week I have been obsessing thinking about this a lot. What do I want to have more of or less of in each new day I am given?

More walking

What? Were you expecting something a little deeper? I have been thinking about more walking because God has been really dealing with me about taking care of my heart- physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Walking will help me with this. As I exercise my body, I also get to process everything else that is going on in my world. It relieves stress and helps me refocus.

More gratitude

I am so much happier when I choose to focus on what I do have instead of what I don't. A thankful heart is a joy-filled heart.

More doing what I enjoy

Being a grownup often means doing lots of things that I don't really want to do. I can't do much about that, but I can fill the remaining time with lots of things that I do like. Things that energize me. Like gardening, reading, writing, knitting, going on coffee dates, mentoring, having dance parties... you know, fun stuff!

More peace

"Peace is a Person, not a place." This is one of my favorite quotes from Christian author Ann Voskamp. If I want more peace, then I need to spend more time with the Prince of Peace. Time with Him is never wasted. 

Less anxiety

I spent much of 2014 worrying about stuff that never happened. I come from several generations of worriers. It is in my DNA. However, Dr. Caroline Leaf's research has proven that when you change your thoughts, you literally change your DNA. So I'm going to make some changes.

Less clutter

I thought that this would improve with both of my children out of the house. Sadly, it has not. I've got some organizing to do. Less clutter= less stress

Less making excuses

Over the years I have learned how to rationalize pretty much everything. Great short term strategy, but devastating in the long run. It is time for a new mantra, "No more excuses!  Embrace it!"

Less selfishness

I've been thinking a lot about what my legacy will be. What will they say about me when I'm gone? What will be listed as my contributions to the world? If I'm going to leave a legacy of love, then selfishness has got to go. Easier said than done, but I'm working on it.

Less death

I know, I know, I can't control this in the most literal sense. But I can control my own choices. I can choose to embrace this beautiful life with all of its challenges and redeem the time I have been given. "Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live"! ~Deuteronomy 30:19 NLT

There it is. My manifesto of sorts. Are there things you want more of or less of in your life? What will you choose?

A New Year, A New Word

I guess the New Year isn’t so new anymore. Some of the shiny is worn off by now. Many good intentions have already fallen by the wayside. I have been under the weather for a good portion of January, so I feel like I lost this month somehow. I have been cheated out of one of my favorite times of the year. But somehow I don’t think that the shingles virus cares all that much about me or what I would prefer, so time marches on.

Yes, I have shingles. Yes, it completely lives up to the hype. Yes, I am so ready to be done with it. And yes, I will overcome this and feel better again because I know that God answers prayer!

Anyway…I gave up the roller coaster of resolutions several years ago. I just got tired of constantly feeling like I was missing the mark. So instead of making a lot of empty promises, I now choose one word each year to be my focus. Last year’s word was “change.” I was quite intentional with that choice because I knew that there were a lot of changes coming for me in 2014 and I wanted to be ready. I would love to tell you that I handled it all gracefully, but I would be lying. I did handle some things pretty well. But there were some ugly moments, too. It was God’s grace that smoothed out those rough places and carried me through. I learned a lot about myself and how to deal more effectively with change.

My word choice for this year took quite a bit of thought. There are so many areas where I know I need to progress. A perfectionistic person is never at a loss when it comes to self-improvement! After several days of contemplation and a very encouraging conversation with my family over breakfast one morning, I finally found the right word. My one word for 2015 is…EMBRACE. One of the most important lessons I learned about change is that resistance makes everything more of a challenge. Leaning in and working with the process makes it so much easier to move forward. So this year I am going to focus on really embracing life. I guess I should since that is in the name of this space where I share my heart.

Embrace adventure. Embrace wholeness. Embrace community. Embrace opportunity. Embrace challenges. Embrace identity. Embrace purpose. Embrace God’s promises.

Even though I've had a bit of a rocky start, I am looking forward to what 2015 has in store for me. Lots of life to embrace!

“May you live all the days of your life.” ~Jonathan Swift