The Most Wonderful Time of the Year?

I have a confession to make.  Christmas is not my favorite time of the year.  There.  I said it.  In some strange way it almost feels blasphemous.  Will others consider me not to be a true Christian because I don't approach the season that celebrates the birth of our Savior with great joy and anticipation?  However, I've been trying this new approach to life where I have to be honest with myself, so there you have it. Out in the open for all the world to see. 

Why don't I love Christmas more than any other time?  I ask myself this question every year as the season approaches and I begin to feel my chest tighten.  Like so many issues, I suppose it began in my childhood.  Christmas at my house was a season of stress, anxiety, and disappointment.  My mother's mantra was "Let's just get through the holidays."  This time of year was to be endured rather than enjoyed.  I was greatly influenced by her attitude. While my friends were enjoying fabulous family vacations and opening all of the presents I was wishing for, but would never receive, I was counting the days until we could go back to school and get on with life.

After I got married and realized that Christmas was my husband's favorite time of year, I was determined to make our first holiday season together as perfect as possible.  And it was pretty perfect.  A beautiful tree, decorations everywhere, and lots of great presents.  We managed to spend time with each of our families and everyone seemed happy. Maybe Christmas wasn't so bad after all.

Eighteen months later my mother suddenly died and I found myself drowning in an ocean of grief and pain.  Nothing would ever be the same.  A little black cloud hung over every holiday and special occasion for the next several years.  My husband desperately tried to help me cope.  "We need to develop our own traditions," he would say.  And so I would try to celebrate, but most of the time I was simply numb. 

A couple of years later our first child was born shortly before the beginning of the holiday season.  She was the most extraordinary gift I had ever received.  I told myself that I needed to genuinely embrace Christmas in light of the little blessing that had come into my life.  There were still some tears, but I really tried to enjoy our baby's first Christmas to the fullest.  Another baby's first Christmas came three years later with the arrival of our second daughter.  Somehow I managed to survive.

Motherhood pushed my perfectionistic nature to higher heights than I'd ever experienced.  The most painful manifestation of this always came during the holidays.  The decorations, the food, the presents... it all needed to be absolutely perfect for my family.  Combine this with my intense desire to please others, and you have an emotional disaster just waiting to happen.  Which parties to attend + where to spend Christmas Eve + where to spend Christmas day = stressed and overwhelmed mommy!  My sweet husband spent each year trying to hold us all together while I fell apart.

Just when I was beginning to feel like I was recovering from the loss of my mother, my father died. Constant waves of grief and pain all over again.  I lost him a couple of months before Christmas that year and, once again, I knew that nothing would ever be the same.  My dad had always seemed to enjoy Christmas and would try to lighten things up in spite of Mom's attitude.  He would bring home chocolate-covered orange sticks and cordial cherries to share.  He loved singing Christmas carols and was so proud of me when I learned to play them on the piano.  Each Christmas Eve he would read the story of Jesus' birth from the book of Luke and then recite "The Night Before Christmas" before tucking me into bed. How could there be Christmas without my dad?  I struggled once more to create the perfect holiday in hopes that it would chase away the hurt. It didn't.

Each year I would put on a brave face and work hard to endure the holidays.  I was pretty successful... until two years ago.  I had lost my job that year and we were in financial dire straits. I knew that my teenagers were wishing for all of the expensive, electronic gadgets that their friends were sure to get. Meanwhile I was just hoping there would be something for them to open on Christmas morning.  At the end of a very long week filled with school concerts and activities, I had the melt-down to top all melt-downs.  (Did I mention that my hubby is a music teacher and Christmas is his busiest time of year?)  Anyway, all of the stress and frustration came pouring out of me in one long, crazy, awful tantrum in front of my husband and children.  I ranted on and on about all the reasons I didn't like Christmas, how I was tired of pretending, and how I wasn't sure I could bear any sort of celebration that year.  After I was done and I saw the horrified expressions on the faces of my children, I immediately began to apologize and try to repair the damage I had done.  Rather than judge me, my precious daughters put their arms around me and told me that they loved me.  They said that they didn't realize Christmas was so hard for me and they offered to do whatever they could to make it easier.  My husband smiled at me and told me it was going to be okay.  

After taking a couple of days to process everything that had happened, I realized that I had a choice to make.  Either continue on with this exhausting pattern of behavior or learn how to really enjoy Christmas.  Since enjoyment beats exhaustion, I chose the latter.  I went to the public library and checked out a stack of Christmas stories.  I watched every Christmas movie and television special I could find.  I listened to Christmas music as much as possible.  I gave up all of my expectations for a perfect holiday, and I vowed to do only the stuff I really like.  I stopped worrying about each gift and focused more on the fun traditions that we had established over the years.  No more agonizing over family pictures and that annoying Christmas letter to include with the Christmas cards.  I made a conscious decision to change my focus and I felt myself breathe in the true spirit of Christmas.

I still have my challenging "moments"... like whenever I hear Dad's favorite Christmas carol or when I set out the nativity that Mom gave me.  But approaching the Christmas season no longer fills my heart with dread.  While we were decorating our tree the other night I heard my youngest daughter say, "I just love Christmas."  Joy and gratitude filled my heart.  No, it's still not my most favorite, but it's in my top three!

Monday Musings

Out in my yard today... a very wet and rainy day.  My thermometer says 40 degrees, a fairly warm day compared to what we've been having the last couple of weeks. 



The rain is slowly melting away all of the snow.

Here is my front door looking very festive.

I'm grateful for... the extra bit of time I've had lately to work on some projects at home.  I am a homebody and I love just puttering around the house.

One of my favorite things... Christmas lights!  Any size, shape, or color- I really enjoy seeing all of the lights at this time of the year.

This week I'm reading... Knit the Season by Kate Jacobs.  This is book three in her Friday Night Knitting Club series.  A good Christmas story is a must for me each year and I like this author's manner of storytelling.

I'm looking forward to... attending my daughter's high school choir Christmas concert tomorrow evening. She loves to perform and I know that she will light up the stage.  I always enjoy hearing the sounds of the season.

Simple life tip for the week... spending time is a greater gift than spending money, so stop worrying about finding the perfect gift and spend some quality time with the ones you love!



Word-filled Wednesday

Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love

endures forever.

                                                                             ~Psalm 107:1

Word-filled Wednesday

Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.

James 3:18

Yesterday was a busy day. There was, of course, the normal everyday busyness of getting everyone out the door for school. I was working on a couple of household projects that only added to my ever-increasing to-do list. Have you ever done that? Started something that was supposed to make life easier only to look around and realize that it looks like a bomb has gone off in your home? Anyway, I was scheduled to guest teach for my husband in the afternoon while he travelled with his high school boys soccer team to an “away” game. After school I would be driving to my daughter’s volleyball game at a school about 40 miles from our home. In anticipation of a late arrival at home from the game, I worked as fast as I could to finish up some cleaning chores before lunch. I loaded the dishwasher and got it all ready to run, but I decided to wait to start it until I left for the afternoon. I was so proud of the progress I had made on my to-do list and I left the house smug with satisfaction.

This morning when I went into the kitchen, I realized that I didn’t remember to hit the start button on the dishwasher yesterday. Grrrrrr!!! Why did I procrastinate instead of just starting the cycle right after I finished filling the machine?! Why was I relying on my memory that just isn’t what it used to be? Why didn’t I set the “delay start” function so the cycle would start automatically later in the day?

In the midst of my frustration I began to think about this issue of procrastination and how it affects my life. I should probably join a twelve step program to deal with it once and for all. Hi, my name is Laurel, and I am a procrastinator! Why do I procrastinate? There are a variety of reasons both simple and complex. I’m lazy- “Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow?” I rely on my memory to remind me of the things that need my attention. (Obviously that isn’t working out so well. ) Often I’m overwhelmed by the task at hand and don’t know where to start. Sometimes I’m afraid that I might fail, so I don’t even begin. And sometimes I have everything ready to go, but I don’t press the start button.

I can’t overcome this entire issue of procrastination in one day… that will require some intensive behavior modification for me! But I can begin this process by giving myself a simple little reminder, “Have you pressed the start button today?” A little reminder can often stir us into action.  Perhaps it’s the dishwasher, or a difficult task, or something that God has put on your heart… have you pressed the start button today?

Monday Musings

Out in my yard today... a beautiful sunny September day. Last spring I mentioned the vines in my front yard that I prune back to practically nothing each year.  Here is the one that matures in the late summer now just breaking into full bloom:



Fall is beginning to show a little bit in my yard, as well.  The leaves on this bush have already turned red.

I'm grateful for... a relatively smooth start to the new school year.

One of my favorite things... is working with yarn.  I decided a couple of years ago to learn how to knit.  So far so good.  I have a basic understanding of the stitches and how to read a pattern, so I'm ready to tackle something that incorporates my new skills.  This week I will be picking out the yarn for the darling little sweater that I will be knitting for my canine companion Baxter. 

This week I'm reading...  The Friday Night Knitting Club by Kate Jacobs.  I picked it up from the library a few days ago hoping it would inspire me to pursue a new project.  And so it has! 

I'm looking forward to... the start of the fall session of the Moms group Bible study that I lead at church.  We took the summer off and will begin meeting again this Thursday morning.  It will be so nice to see everyone again and dive into our topic for this session- "Loving like Jesus."

Simple life tip for the week...  When my daughter was about seven years old, she asked me one day what I did at work. I told her I worked at the college - that my job was to teach people how to draw. She stared at me, incredulous, and said, "You mean they forget?" ~Howard Ikemoto 
Have you forgotten how to draw?  Grab a freshly sharpened pencil or pick up a brand new box of crayons at the store along with a clean sheet of paper and let yourself go.  You might be surprised at what you see and maybe even learn something new about yourself.

Word-filled Wednesday

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.  And be thankful. ~Colossians 3:15

Several years ago a very wise woman shared with me some wonderful insight about parenting.  She told me to remember that parenting is a continuous process of letting go.  It begins at birth when the mother's womb releases that tiny, beautiful baby into the world.  From that moment on, we as parents are engaged in a never-ending series of events that challenge us to let go in order for our child to grow and develop into an independent person.  Baby's first tentative steps, first day of school, first time away from home, first solo drive in the car, first job... in each situation we have to make the choice to let go and allow our little darling the chance to experience life on their own. 

This sage mentor also advised me to remember that as scary and stress-inducing as this process may be, it is a necessary and wonderful part of life. Celebrate the daily progress along with the big milestones and take comfort in knowing that your child is growing as they should.  

I have sincerely tried to take this advice to heart.  While it is still hard for me to let go sometimes (okay, most of the time), I try to remember that it is a necessary part of life.  Some moments I am able to go directly into celebration mode; others take me a little bit longer.  Like this morning...

Today is the first day of school- for both my school teacher husband and our girls.  It is always a bittersweet moment for me.  I like the return to a regular daily routine.  I also have a little more time to myself.  However, it also means that my kids are getting older (and I am getting older).  Today is especially poignant because it is my youngest's very first day of high school.  Where did the time go?  I was feeling very melancholy at breakfast this morning when my husband reminded me that this is the next step for her.  Not only is it fundamental, but it is in keeping with what we want for her.  Independence... really?  Yes, really.  And so I watched her walk out the door with her older sister.

 I've been slowly crawling towards adjusting my attitude to celebration mode all morning.  My goal is to be there by the time school gets out and I will hear the exciting reports about today's events.  And then we will celebrate... and I will begin to prepare for the next time I get to "let go." 

"There are two lasting bequests we can give our children.  One is roots.  The other is wings." ~Hodding Carter, Jr.

Monday Musings

Out in my yard today...  73 degrees- an unusually cool day for this time of year.  The butterfly bush is in full bloom, attracting many different varieties of colorful butterflies.

The peaches are beginning to ripen and will be ready to pick in a few days.  Due to a late-spring freeze, there are exactly 8 peaches on the entire tree.  I guess it's better than nothing, but there won't be any homemade jam this year.

I'm grateful for... kind words filled with love and encouragement.

One of my favorite things... is this darling Little Red Riding Hood cookie jar that my cousin brought to me last month.  Once upon a time my mother gave this cookie jar as a gift to her mother.  Years later my grandmother passed it on to my cousin who had often enjoyed the yummy cookies that she kept in constant supply in the cookie jar.  All of these years later my cousin thought that I would enjoy having this family treasure.  My grandmother died a few years before I was born, so it is especially nice to have something of hers.  Knowing that my own mother picked it out makes it that much more special.

This week I'm reading... Invitation to the Jesus Life  Experiments in Christlikeness by Jan Johnson.  This is a book that I've had to read a little at a time because it is so thought-provoking.  It has challenged me to really examine my heart.  This is a reference book for all of our ladies Bible study groups this fall, so I have been doing a lot of extra reading and research in preparation for teaching.

I'm looking forward to... catching up with a couple of friends this week that I haven't seen for most of the summer.  I'm sure there will be a lot of laughter as we share our summer adventures.

Simple life tip for the week... "You don't have to cook fancy or complicated masterpieces- just good food from fresh ingredients."~ Julia Child  

Word-filled Wednesday

The Lord is my light and my salvation-

whom shall I fear?

The Lord is the stronghold of my life-

of whom shall I be afraid? 

~Ps. 27:1

Monday Musings~ There's no place like home...

My family and I just returned last week from a two week vacation in the eastern U.S. We had such a wonderful time! My brother and sister-in-law graciously hosted us in their home and really made this vacation possible. We couldn't have done it without them. What a tremendous blessing! 

As much fun as it was to get away, it is also so great to be home. So, without further ado, here is this week's edition of Monday Musings.

Out in my yard today... a volleyball net that will get a lot of use in the next few days since my youngest daughter is trying out for the school volleyball team at the end of this week.   

I harvested the first fruits of my garden when we got home last week.  One zucchini, one cucumber, one yellow squash, some lettuce, and some cherry tomatoes.  Yummy!

I'm grateful for... safe travels and vacation fun.  We visited some amazing places and saw some really cool stuff, but the best part for me was spending time with people I rarely get to be with in person.  Seeing my nephews all grown up, two of them with families of their own... simply extraordinary.  And meeting my darling great-niece and great-nephews, a whole new generation... absolutely incredible!  We also spent a wonderful day with some of my husband's family in Connecticut. They showed us such love and hospitality- we are blessed!!!  

One of my favorite things... watching my kids wholeheartedly pursue their dreams.  They have such courage and determination.  I wish I was that fearless.

This week I'm reading... Off Season by Anne Rivers Siddons.  A light summer read, perfect for this time of year.  I read Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol while on vacation.  Set in Washington D.C., it is a major thriller involving Masonic secrets and some well-known historical sites.  I was in the thick of it while we were in Washington D.C., which increased the intrigue that much more.  We even drove past the Masonic temple where a lot of the action takes place in the book.  Creepy! 

I'm looking forward to... watching my husband's soccer team play this weekend.  He is the high school boys JV soccer coach this season.  It's good for him to spend some time with the guys.  There's a lot of estrogen at our house!

Simple life tip for the week... "Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass on a summer day listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is hardly a waste of time." ~John Lubbock 
Spend some time "resting" this week.  You won't regret it!

Word-filled Wednesday

"All your children shall be taught by the Lord, and great shall be the peace of your children."  Isaiah 54:13

Monday Musings

Out in my yard today... at this moment it is 75 degrees and breezy. I'm sure it will warm up more by the end of the afternoon.   The clematis is in full-bloom now. 

There are also several roses in bloom.  This pink one is one of my favorites.

If you look closely you can see the start of a yellow squash.  My tomato plants are all blooming, along with the zucchini and cucumbers.  I can hardly wait for harvest!

I'm grateful for... the United States of America!  What a privilege it is to live in a free country.  I'm so thankful for all of the service men and women who protect this nation and keep freedom secure for me and my family.

One of my favorite things... is celebrating Independence Day.  I must admit, it is my favorite holiday.  Good food, patriotic music, spectacular fireworks- I love it all!  Our family gets matching Old Navy flag shirts each year.  This year all of us girls also bought matching flag flip-flops.  Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness... I am blessed!

This week I'm reading... Half Broke Horses by Jeannette Walls.  I really enjoyed her memoir The Glass Castle.  In this new book she tells the true story of her grandmother. 

I'm looking forward to... watching my girls perform on stage in a local musical theater production this week.  My oldest brother is also coming to town for a visit.  He lives back east and we don't get to see each other very often.  My other brother and his wife are also coming to see my girls perform, so we will have a little family reunion of sorts.

Simple life tip for the week... Need to get away from it all?  Find something to laugh about each day this week.  "Laughter is an instant vacation." ~Milton Berle

Word-filled Wednesday

God's my island hideaway,

keeps danger far from the shore,

throws garlands of hosannas around my neck.

~Psalm 32:7  

Monday Musings~ The First Day of Summer!

Out in my yard today... 70 degrees and little breezy. So ready for summer weather to arrive!

The colombine, one of my personal favorites, is in full bloom.

I'm grateful for... guardian angels that accompany my daughter when she is driving. Last week there was a malfunction with the car that could have resulted in a dangerous situation for her. By the grace of God she made it home safe and sound.

One of my favorite things... are my Sloggers, these garden clogs that my husband gave me last year. No matter how muddy they get, I can just spray them off. Fabulous!






This week I'm reading... The Forgotten Garden by Kate Morton. Morton is an Australian author and wonderful storyteller. The plot is somewhat intricate, moving back and forth across several generations, but it's still a relaxing read. I'm also reading The Walk by Richard Paul Evans. This one is our current book club pick and I quite like it. Very thought provoking.

I'm looking forward to... going to the city band concert at the bandshell in the city park Thursday evening. The entire cast of the summer musical show that my girls are in will be performing a "sneak peak" in preparation for the show's opening in a couple of weeks. I love to watch my girls on stage!

Simple life tip for the week... "Joy is not in things; it is in us." ~Richard Wagner

Daddy's Girl

I arrived as a later-in-life surprise to my parents. A surprise and a bit of a miracle. Allow me to explain...

Following the birth of their second child, my parents were advised by their physician to not have any more children since pregnancy and childbirth were so difficult for my mother. He also told them that it was highly unlikely that they would ever conceive again and to be thankful for their two healthy sons. My folks had hoped to have a larger family, but, given the multiple miscarriages they had endured in order to have two children, they decided that the doctor knew best.

Surprise!! Ten years later I came along... a strong, healthy baby girl. My father reportedly cried tears of joy each time he told someone the good news. I was daddy's girl right from the start! The apple of his eye, his pride and joy. And as the years went by, we just grew closer and closer.

When I was little he called me his "best helper." Holding tools, working in the garden, running errands... We read lots of books together and he always had a joke to tell or silly song to sing. As I got older we went to daddy/daughter dances at church. My daddy was the best ballroom dancer of all the dads! During the difficult teenage years, when I was moody and full of drama, he would come to my bedroom door each night, wish me "sweet dreams," and blow me a kiss.

He came to all of my school concerts, award ceremonies, and church programs. He was my cheerleader, always smiling and encouraging me- even when I wound up attending three different colleges before finally graduating!

While planning my wedding, he said that he would walk me down the aisle, but he refused to give me away. "What if I want you back?" he would tease. Now I'm the one wishing I could have him back. Eleven years, eight months, and eighteen days without my dad...

-He always carried a handkerchief... always.

-He cooked the best fried eggs ever.

-He loved classical music and almost wore out his copies of The 1812 Overture and The Grand Canyon Suite.

-He only wrote in cursive to sign his name. Otherwise, it was small, neat, printed handwriting. (Oddly enough, my husband also does the same.)

-He could strike up a conversation with anyone, anywhere, about anything.

-He loved to read and was extremely interested in history. I attribute my love of books to him.

-He was a wonderful storyteller and became quite a poet in his later years.

-He was perhaps the most patriotic person I have ever known.

-He loved parades.

-He played the violin. And the piano... a little.

-He had a beautiful singing voice and performed at church and in the community on numerous occasions. We even performed together a few times.

-He could fall asleep anywhere!

-He loved my mother for more than 44 years.

-He was often melancholy, wondering if life had passed him by. I don't think he ever realized the true measure of his success.

I miss him.

Her Last Day

Today is my youngest daughter's last day in middle school. Hallelujah! I would have never dreamed that I would be so excited for her to leave that place, but my anticipation has been growing over the past few weeks. Not because I'm in a hurry for her to grow up. She is my baby girl, after all. My baby girl who used to tell me that she didn't want to get big, she wanted to stay little forever. My baby girl who said that she would live next door to me when she was a "growed up." So why am I relieved that today has arrived?

It is my opinion, based on my own experience as well as observation of others, that middle school/junior high is one of the most, if not the most, incredibly challenging times in development for any human being. While there are a variety of factors that play into this, I believe the entire thing can be summed up in one word- PUBERTY! So many changes in such a short amount of time. Accelerated physical growth, hormones, zits, hormones, rapid mood swings, hormones, friendship issues, hormones... did I mention hormones?!!!!!

"Who am I? Where do I fit in? Am I attractive? What can I do? Am I good enough? What is my purpose?" Mind, body, and spirit are all developing at a mind-boggling rate. Simply negotiating daily life is quite tenuous during this time.

In the process of metamorphosis, the emerging butterfly goes through a tremendous struggle to break out of the cocoon. While it is painful to watch and tempting to intervene, it is necessary for the butterfly to endure this process. The struggle is what strengthens the butterfly, increasing it's chances for survival once it has fully transformed and come forth.

My beautiful butterfly has made it through these difficult first stages and is moving on to the next phase of development. As she begins to emerge from her cocoon, I am getting a glimpse of her vivid colors, graceful wings, and marvelous intelligence. With each passing day she is becoming more aware of her purpose. I know there will be more challenges ahead... perhaps the greatest and most bittersweet for me will be when she fully emerges and takes flight!

May the wings of the butterfly kiss the sun

and find your shoulder to light on,

To bring you luck, happiness, and riches

today, tomorrow and beyond. ~ Irish blessing

Monday Musings

Out in my yard today... windy, sunny, windy, rainy, windy... you name it, we've got it! The weather has been particularly crazy this last week, even for our area. We even had some snow this last weekend. I planted my little garden, in spite of it all. Lettuce, tomatoes (roma, cherry, yellow pear), cucumbers, zucchini, and yellow squash.

The irises are blooming now. Good news since we moved them to a new spot last year.


Also blooming in the yard today are the gorgeous gerbera daisies I recently planted. I love their bright color!



Each spring I try to plant something new and interesting in my yard. This year I have chocolate mint! Yes, it really smells like chocolate. A nice compliment to the chocolate flowers I planted a few years ago. They are little yellow flowers with dark brown centers and they, too, smell like chocolate. Perfectly suits our chocolate-loving family!


I'm grateful for... incredibly healthy kids! Listening to the moms at Bible study the other day discussing doctor visits and antibiotics reminded me again of how blessed my girls have been. May they walk in divine health all the days of their lives!



One of my favorite things... my Cricut Expressions cutting machine. It makes everything look great. I have declared this the summer of scrapbooking, so I hope my machine is up to the challenge!


This week I'm reading... eat the cookie...buy the shoes Giving Yourself Permission to Lighten Up by Joyce Meyer. Joyce says that we are not built for guilt. God wants us to enjoy the lives He has given us. I am particularly skilled in the area of guilt. In fact, there have been times in my life when I just didn't feel right unless I felt that familiar twinge of guilt. Time to just let it go!!!

I'm looking forward to... our monthly book club meeting this week. We are such a diverse group and yet we have such fun together. The school year is also winding down and I'm excited for summer!

Simple life tip for the week... The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it. ~ Henry David Thoreau

Birthday Inspiration

My birthday. The one day out of each year that is my very own holiday dedicated to celebrating me. As a child I could hardly wait for my special day. My mom would start the countdown of "shopping days" until my birthday at least a month prior to the occasion. She continued this tradition even when I went away to college, sending me postcards labeled with the number of days remaining throughout the weeks before my big day. I have many wonderful memories of birthday celebrations with really great gifts. The hot pink Huffy two-wheeler with a banana seat and white basket with daisies on the front. The piano my aunt surprised me with when I turned 11. The scavenger hunt that led to the discovery of the new 10-speed hidden away in the back of my uncle's truck. Flowers, jewelry, surprise parties with friends, my desk decorated at school, the birthday crown we wore in elementary school. Good times!

Somewhere in my early twenties I vowed to never lie about my age. After all, each and every moment I have lived thus far has come together to make me who I am today, so why would I not want to embrace every year of my age? So idealistic, so naive! I had no idea how challenging aging can be. And while it is true that the sum total of my life experiences have shaped who I am, it is sometimes difficult to celebrate the good with the bad. This year I had to really dig deep and put on an attitude of gratitude when it came to my special day.

And so, I celebrated my birthday a couple of weeks ago. I spent the day attending our church's annual women's conference. Later that evening I went to dinner with my husband, my beautiful daughters, and my in-laws. Strawberry pie for dessert (a tradition since childhood) and my celebration was complete.

The next day was spent in a gym watching our youngest daughter play in a volleyball tournament. As I was sitting there in the bleachers, this little phrase kept running through my mind, "What do I do now that I'm forty-two?" I kinda chuckled to myself at first because it sounded like something out of a Dr. Seuss book (the rhyming words and cadence?- okay, maybe I'm the only one who gets it). At any rate, I kept thinking about this all day. After we got home I decided to write it down, just to get it out of my head, if nothing else. Once the words hit the paper I thought, "I should write a haiku with this as the title." Now, you should know that I do not routinely write poetry of any kind, let alone a haiku! It must have been divine inspiration that gave me the following:

What do I do now that I'm forty-two?

laugh, cry, reflect, breathe
dream, explore, embrace, create
love, celebrate life!

After I finished writing, I spent several minutes just staring at the words on the paper and thinking, "What now? What does this mean? Is this a fluke? Am I supposed to do something with this?" Honestly, I can be so overly analytical that it can strip the joy out of just about anything! I finally decided to share these words with my family, mostly because I was so overwhelmed by the whole incident that I was hoping to gain some insight from their reaction. As I started to read the words out loud, I felt a lump form in my throat and tears come to my eyes. It was in that moment of sharing that I knew this wasn't a fluke. I knew that God had placed those words in my heart as a revelation of His purpose and vision for my life. For me... a 42-year-old wife and mother of two who had spent the last several weeks wondering if there was something more for her or if life was just passing her by. What an amazing gift from my Father...hope, optimism, and enthusiasm for the journey ahead!

With a renewed confidence I am inspired to move forward and discover what each of these words means for me. There is something more after all, something beyond the daily-ness of life. Something fresh to pursue and embrace. That's what I'll do now that I'm forty-two!

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. -- e.e. cummings

Monday Musings

Out in my yard today... the high according to my thermometer was 82 this afternoon! Our peach and plum trees are in full bloom.

I'm grateful for... celebrations with good friends, sunshine, and a fresh start every morning.

One of my favorite things... is watching the birds in our backyard. We've had a bird bath in our yard for a few years now, but this is the first spring that I've really seen any birds using it. Too cool!

This week I'm reading... the second half of Her Mother's Hope. I went to Barnes & Noble with my oldest daughter last week and we put together a rather lengthy list of summer reading. I'm so glad that my kids love to read as much as I do. It has always been important to me that they not only become good readers, but also really enjoy it.

I'm looking forward to... having lunch with some special ladies on Friday. Each of them has given me such love and encouragement throughout the past several months. They believe in me even when I don't believe in myself.

Simple life tip for the week... don't make your schedule any more complicated than it already is each day. Sometimes we are our own worst enemy and add more than we should to an already full agenda. Learn to set clear boundaries and just say "no."

Monday Musings

Out in my yard today... it rained most of the morning, but now it is snowing!!! Grrrr...just another crazy spring day in Idaho. However, the daffodils are blooming in my front yard-




they are so bright and cheerful!

I'm grateful for... Easter dinner with family, a warm home, marshmallow-filled chocolate eggs, and an opening day win for the Red Sox over the Yankees!

One of my favorite things... eating popcorn and watching movies with my family. Romantic comedies top my list, but a little drama, action and intrigue are also good.

This week I'm reading... Her Mother's Hope by Francine Rivers, our current book club read. I hope it's good since I picked this book for April. :)

I'm looking forward to... a short school week this week. No school on Thursday or Friday due to parent/teacher conferences. Maybe we can all catch our breath again!

Simple life tip for the week... Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful. -William Morris

Good Friday- Grateful Heart

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.
Isaiah 53:5

Monday Musings

Out in my yard today... sunny clear blue sky, no wind, and a warm 58 degrees. I found these in my front yard a few days ago.




I'm grateful for... good health, sunshine, and spring break!

One of my favorite things... fuzzy, furry socks- I don't like to wear shoes in the house and these keep my feet warm and cozy.

This week I'm reading... actually I just finished reading Austenland by Shannon Hale, a fun read for fans of Pride and Prejudice. It is my turn to pick the next book for our book club, so I am researching a few different options.

I'm looking forward to... celebrating St. Patrick's Day! This has always been a special day for me. Probably because my mom loved it so much and made it a big deal. Her birthday was March 18th, so it was a two day celebration. This year we are celebrating a little early with some dear friends. Of course there will be corned beef & cabbage with all the trimmings. How I love the wearin' of the green! Maybe I'll even spot a leprechaun...

Simple life tip for the week... consider putting a moratorium on shopping. For the next 30 days limit your purchases to groceries and basic essentials. This is a great way to evaluate your consumer habits, save time, and minimize clutter.

Are we almost done?

I spent the afternoon working in my yard yesterday. Several of the bushes and trees were in desperate need of pruning. It's not my favorite gardening activity, but it is necessary to maintain the health and productivity of the plants.

My husband, perched on a branch high up in the plum tree, was carefully looking for branches that needed to be removed. Occasionally he would ask for my opinion before making the necessary cuts. We talked about which branches had been more productive last year and what kind of harvest we might expect for this season. As we were working, I began to contemplate the pruning process that has been happening in my own life.

Prune- v. 1. To cut off or remove dead or living parts or branches of (a plant, for example) to improve shape or growth. 2. To remove or cut out as superfluous. 3. To reduce. 4. To remove what is superfluous or undesirable.

Just when I think I can't possibly have anything more "cut out" of me, something else is removed. An attitude I've been justifying, a selfish desire, possessions I "need", unhealthy relationships... My heart cried out to God, "Are we almost done?" I'm beginning to feel like the vine in my front yard that has to be cut back almost to the roots each year.

However, that vine does grow at an amazing pace and has the most beautiful blooms... I guess I just have to be patient while the Vinedresser does His work. Watch out- if the pruning process is any indication of the growth and harvest to come, then I will be overflowing with abundance!

Better to be pruned to grow than cut up to burn. --John Trapp

Monday Musings

Out in my yard today... another mild day with a high temp. of 40 degrees.

I'm grateful for... a sweet husband who supports me and encourages me to be true to my heart, uninterrupted sleep, and strong-willed, highly opinionated children (in the most positive sense- when their hearts are grounded in truth, they will not be moved!).

One of my favorite things... coffee, coffee, and more coffee! My hubby fixes me a cup of java joy and brings it to me each morning. I know... I'm pampered :)

This week I'm reading...the power of simple prayer by Joyce Meyer. I love anything by Joyce! She is so practical and I can really relate to her. This book is better consumed in small portions. Lots to think about! I just finished The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society today. It was fascinating- a must-read for those who enjoy historical fiction.

I'm looking forward to...

Valentine's Day and lots of chocolate!!!!!

My sweetheart is a total chocoholic and I have a moderate to severe addiction, so there will be lots of this wonderful substance consumed throughout this week.

Simple life tip for the week... instead of purchasing several different cleaners, save space and try buying one all-purpose cleaner, preferably one that is environmentally friendly, whenever possible.

Simply Super

I like football, but my husband love, love, loves football! So, even though his beloved Dallas Cowboys didn't make it this year, we watched the Super Bowl yesterday. Not a huge fan of either team, I found myself cheering for the Saints because it was their first appearance at the Super Bowl and I think that New Orleans as a city deserves something to really celebrate this year. Kind of campy reasoning, but that's how I do football. Besides, there was endless analysis by the "experts" leading up to the game to provide me with all the information I might ever need to make an informed decision. It's ironic that I find such analysis tiresome as I have a tendency to over-analyze just about everything...

Anyway, as I was listening to the sportscasters calling the game, I began to wonder what it might be like if there were such people evaluating my performance in the big game of life. (Imagination- ya gotta love it!) Would they say that I was prepared, in great shape, mentally strong? That I was a play-maker, focused, good at making decisions under pressure? A team player with a great work ethic? How about a humanitarian like those players who were honored prior to the start of the game? Do I trust my coach when he calls plays that require me to take risks?

Or would they say that I was out of shape, lazy, and ill-prepared to meet the demands of the game? Selfish, chaotic, unpredictable, late, unwilling to follow instructions or receive correction?

My hearts desire is to do life well. Some days I'm at the top of my game, other days I fall incredibly short. I don't know how much time is left on the clock, so I've got to improve my conditioning, get focused, learn the playbook, and listen to my Coach.

Oh, and a really cute uniform is also important, right?

Monday Musings

Out in my yard today... A sunny day, the temperature is 42.6 degrees F (according to my Oregon scientific weather gauge.) Baxter, my darling Miniature Schnauzer, is "securing the perimeter" and patrolling for squirrels. It snowed yesterday, but most of it has melted away.

I'm grateful for... kind friends who loaned us a dryer when ours died last week, hugs from my family, and rocky road ice cream.

One of my favorite things... The new book my hubby gave me last week, Organize now! A week-by-week guide to simplify your space and your life. Very practical and fun to use!

This week I'm reading... The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows- our current book club pick. I just started it yesterday :)

I'm looking forward to... watching Ground Hog Day tomorrow (on Ground Hog Day, of course), one of my favorite movies.

Simple life tip for the week... make a list of your top ten priorities and then honor those priorities each day. Eliminate those things that take time away from your top ten.

Our Daily Bread

I have been a guest teacher in our local public school district for a few years now. (In case you're wondering, "guest teacher" is the more professional, politically correct name for a substitute teacher.) I have a lot of fun and I really like the flexibility it affords me. There have been some challenging moments, but I generally have had good experiences in the classroom. A couple of months ago I was asked to guest teach at a private Christian school in my neighborhood. I filled in for three weeks for a teacher who was recovering from surgery. The class was small, just 15 kids, and pretty well-behaved.

Every morning started with a Bible lesson. Quite a departure from the normal public school curriculum! The entire school also attends a weekly chapel service. It is here that our story begins. In keeping with the tradition of the school's denominational affiliation, everyone recites the Lord's prayer in unison during chapel. I memorized the Lord's prayer as a child, but I must admit that it isn't something I regularly recite or meditate on. I was a little nervous and pleasantly surprised that I remembered this passage as well as I did. I was also so amazed at how beautiful those children's voices sounded as they all prayed together.

The line of the prayer that really resonated with me was, "Give us this day our daily bread." I began to ponder those words and what they mean for my life. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow hasn't arrived, all I really need is my portion for today. I don't need to worry or fret about what may or may not happen. God is my provider. He will give me exactly what I need for this moment.

All too often I get in a hurry and start to think about what's to come rather than simply looking at what is happening right now. I get overwhelmed and the temptation to worry is huge! My imagination overtakes me and soon I've made a mountain out of a molehill. So, this week I am challenging myself to focus on thanking God for my "daily bread." He is always faithful and His portions are just the right size!

Rejoice in the things that are present; all else is beyond thee. - Montaigne

2010 Hope Renewed

Be alert, be present. I'm about to do something brand-new. It's bursting out! Don't you see it? Isaiah 43:19

A new year. A new decade. A fresh start. A blank page just waiting for this season of my life to be written on. I'm so thankful that 2010 has arrived.

Last year was a difficult year for me. A storm was brewing, but I failed to notice the weather change until the rains began to fall. As the flood waters began to rise, I clung to the Rock with all of my strength. But the waves increased in frequency and intensity; I lost my grip and slipped into the water.

At first I attempted to fight my way to the surface. If only I could catch my breath! Soon I grew weary and started to sink into the depths where there was no light, no warmth, no hope. "I'm drowning!" I realized. My strength gone, I was suspended in the darkness for what seemed like an eternity.

Suddenly, one particularly strong wave pushed me up to the surface for a brief moment. Just long enough for me to cry out for help. Almost in an instant a life boat appeared. The responders rescued me from the depths and helped me to breath easy once again. They took me to shelter where I could rest and recover while the storm passes. Thankfully, the dark clouds are drifting away and the flood waters are subsiding.

During this time of respite I've discovered a renewed sense of hope. I am growing healthier, stronger, and more energetic with each new day.

I'm so thankful for those responders, my friends who love me, pray for me, and support me. My favorite definition of a friend: A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you've forgotten the words. I not only forgot the words, I almost forgot that there was even a song. I'm starting to hum the tune again...

2010 My year to hope, dream, and simply embrace life!!!

"Once you choose hope, anything's possible." - Christopher Reeve